The List
by therecordwontstopskipping
Summary: Thirty items on the List. Three best friends. The adventure of a lifetime. BellaxEdward, AlicexJasper, EmmettxRosalie As much as it hurts to say it.... *HIATUS*
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I. _

_Freaking. _

_Hate. _

_Bunnies. _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything. _

_-----------------------------------_

She didn't know what she was doing. Bella Swan was not the spontaneous type, not at all. But here she was, standing near the edge of a bride, something very similar to a rubber band strapped to her leg. Bella hoped that it didn't snap as easily as a rubber band, though.

Bella looked cautiously over the edge of the bridge and tried to muffle a moan of fear. Had she been that high up before?

"C'mon Bella!" crooned Rosalie Hale from besides her. Bella turned to glare at her best friend, who was in an identical outfit: brightly colored jumpsuit that all jumpers had to wear and a thick band around one of her ankles. "It's just one little step and then it's over!"

"I hate you!" hissed Bella. After all, Rosalie had thought this up only two days ago. Now here they were, about to jump off a bridge and Bella seemed to be the only one that cared. Her heart was pounding so loudly that she briefly wondered if she was having a heart attack.

"Bella, calm down," a calm voice said besides her. Bella turned to see Jasper Whitlock, her other best friend, grinning at her.

"Calm down? Calm down?" Bella's tone was only slightly hysterical. "I'm about to jump off a bridge, attached to a freaking rubber band, and you're telling me to _calm down_!" Her voice had risen to a shriek by the end of the sentence.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Bella, this is perfectly safe. Nothing's going to happen to us."

Rosalie supported his statement. "How many people have done this before? Besides it's on the List." The way she said "the List," Bella felt like it had to be capitalized.

"What List?" she asked warily.

"The List of things you're going to do before you're thirty," Rosalie answered happily. "Or dead," she added afterwards.

"I don't remember making a List..." said Bella.

Jasper chuckled. "We," he said, indicating himself and Rosalie, "came up with the List without you."

Bella looked at them confused. "But I thought it was a List for me."

"Well," Rosalie said, exchanging a look with Jasper. "It's for all of us, but me and Jasper wrote it because we knew that you would never go along with it." She shrugged. "All I had to do was to get you to the first item."

"What's that?" Bella asked.

"Bungee jumping," Jasper said with relish.

Oh, God. Here's that nausea again. Bella took a deep breath and looked over the edge of the bridge again.

"How many items are there on this List?" Bella asked, dreading the question.

"37 and counting," answered Jasper.

Bella felt faint. "What do you mean 'and counting'?"

"We're planning on adding on to the List as we go along," Rosalie answered.

"Oh, my God. You're insane. I'm not doing this." Bella stepped away from the ledge, ignoring Rosalie's and Jasper's looks.

"Yes, you are doing this. Jasper and I will force you too," Rosalie said, smirking at Bella. Bella sighed and stepped back up to the ledge, feeling her resolve crumbling.

"If there's a number that I don't like, then I'm not doing it," Bella muttered.

Rosalie glared at her. "You have two vetos. That's it."

Bella shook her head, and glared back at Rosalie. "Six, or I'm not doing it."

"Three.

"Four."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But me and Jasper and pick another task for you to do."

Bella agreed. "Fine."

Their instructor hurried over and helped Bella up onto the ledge where she was supposed to jump off of. Somehow Rosalie and Jasper had convinced the instructors to force Bella to go first, and ignore all of her complaints.

Bella stood on the ledge gingerly and forced her whimpers of fear down.

"Nice and easy," her instructor was murmuring at her. "Just become one with the flow and let Mother Nature take care of you."

Oh great. Bella got the hippie instructor.

But Bella tried to "become one with the flow," whatever that meant, but it didn't work. She was still just as tense and nervous as she was before she had heard his stupid directors.

"Ah, screw it," Bella muttered to herself. She threw her arms out and jumped off the ledge with a scream.

She was falling faster than she had ever fallen before and she was screaming, from fright or delight, she couldn't tell. She could hear Rosalie and Jasper clapping and whooping at the top of bridge when her rubber band pulled tight and she was yanked back up. She was laughing, tears streaming from her eyes from the wind. She was slowly pulled back up to the bridge and when she reached the top, she saw Rosalie and Jasper looking at her, with something akin to pride on their faces.

"We've done good with her," Rosalie said like the proud mother of a child who had just managed to walk.

"We have," Jasper agreed with a smile.

Bella laughed and spun around in a circle. Adreneline was rushing through her veins, making her feel amazing.

"What's the second thing on the List?" she asked excitedly.

"We're getting tattoes."

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_So...you likey? _

_'Cause I kinda sorta do. And, this is All Human, as I neglected to mention in the AN above. If that can be called an AN. _

_Anyhoo, leave a review --hey, that rhymed!-- telling me if you like it. _

_And, the laters chapters aren't going to be as short as this one. This was sorta a filler chapter, saying what the List was, and who the story was about. _

_Review,  
therecordwontstopskipping_


	2. Chapter 2

_AN: So...._

_I probably should be updating something else, but well..._

_Here I am instead. _

_Oh, yeah. Couldn't fit this in the summary box --why are those damn things so short?!-- so I'm gonna mention here that there's some swearing in here, 'cause I have a bit of a mouth. _

_Blame my sisters. _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything. _

_-------------------------------------------_

"Get that damn thing out of my face," Bella snapped. She shifted around in her car seat and turned to glare at Jasper, who was holding the offending object.

"This is not getting caught on camera!" she told him, angry. "It's bad enough that I'm doing this, but there will be no proof of this event on tape!"

Jasper withdrew the camera to the backseat of Rosalie's car, where he was sitting. "I get it. You're camera shy."

Rosalie snickered from the driver's seat.

"I swear to God, Jasper, shove that thing in my face one more time, and I'm gonna kill you!" threatened Bella.

"You love me too much to kill me," Jasper muttered, distracted, as he looked down at the camera.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked, sounding suspicious.

Jasper's grey eyes flickered up to Bella's before looking down quickly. "Um. Nothing?"

"Bullshit. Gimme that thing, right now." She tugged the camera from his hands and stared down at the screen.

"What the hell, Jasper?" she asked. "Why can't I delete this? And what the hell does 'Lock in place' mean?"

Jasper's face was smug as he answered. "You can't delete that video without the password. Which only I know."

Rosalie snickered again.

"I. Hate. You." Bella tossed the camera into the backseat as they pulled up in front of the tattoo parlor.

It was a small building, a bright red banner announcing the place's name --Tattoo World-- and a smaller sign in the window with the parlor's hours on it.

Bella groaned when she saw it.

Rosalie grinned. "Let's go get a tattoo, shall we?"

-:-

"Um..."

"Just pick one, it's not that hard!"

"It's gonna be on my body forever! I have to like it!"

Rosalie sighed and pointed her finger down at a random tattoo. "This one. How about this one? It's nice."

"It's a bit....gothic, don't you think?" said Bella.

Rosalie peered down at it. "The devil is standing on the top of a globe, laughing. So?"

Jaspered sighed and looked at the tattoo choices. "Bella, what about this one?" He pointed down at the sheet of paper. "Seems like something you would like."

It was a small star that was shaded in with a dark green color. It wasn't too big, perhaps the size of a quarter.

"I like it," Bella annouced after looking at it. She had always loved the color green, even when she was still a small child. And, anyway, a tattoo of that size couldn't hurt too much, could it?

-:-

"Ahh!" Bella choked out. "You murderer!" _(1)_

The tattoo artist looked up from Bella's shoulder, alarmed. Rosalie leaned down and patted him on the arm.

"Don't mind her," Rosalie said. "She's a little....odd when she's in pain."

The tattoo artist nodded slowly and went back to work.

"Stop! It hurts!" Bella pleaded.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and examined the partly finished tattoo. "It's pretty."

Rosalie had already gotten her tattoo, a blood red rose located on her wrist. Jasper was going next, planning on getting a ying yang on his shoulder.

"It's painful!" Bella said. "Stop! Please, I'm begging you."

The tattoo artist ignored her.

Jasper and Rosalie exchanged smirks.

-:-

"I guess it wasn't too bad," Bella said slowly, looking at Jasper. She turned to Rosalie. "I mean, it was painful, and I'm gonna regret this later, but...well it was kind of fun."

"Atta girl," Rosalie muttered.

Jasper chuckled.

Bella leaned forward, eagerly. "So, what's the next item on the List?"

Rosalie and Jasper exchanged nervous looks; something they seemed to be doing a lot lately.

"Um," Rosalie began. "You see....the next twenty or so numbers go together."

Jasper rubbed the back of his neck. "Number Three is going shopping...."

Bella snorted, "I've gone shopping befo-"

Rosalie cut her off. "In New York."

Bella laughed, "Good joke guys. Now really, what's Number Three?"

Jasper entwined his two hands and stared down at them, while Rosalie concentrated on the road.

"No..." Bella looked wildy from Jasper to Rosalie. "Tell me you're kidding."

"I'm kidding," Rosalie said without looking at Bella. "But that makes me a liar."

Bella dropped her head into her hands. "New York?"

"We've never been to New York before," Jasper muttered guiltily.

Bella looked up and fought back the urge to whimper. "Can I use a veto?"

"No," Jasper and Rosalie answered at the same time.

Bella plucked an excuse off of the top of her head. "What about Charlie? He won't be happy about me going to New York."

Rosalie glanced back at Bella for a second. "He already knows. And he's happy about it."

Something flashed into the front of Bella's mind: Charlie, talking about big cities, playing _New York, New York_, an old Frank Sinistra song, watching a TV show about Manhattan....

"Oh, God," Bella groaned. But she could feel her resolve crumbling, just like it had for the bungee jumping. Her resolve had never been good when Jasper and Rosalie were involved.

"What time is our flight?" muttered Bella. After all, Forks, Washingtion was very far away from Manhattan, New York.

"Um..."

_Note to self,_ Bella thought_. Never good ever comes out of Rosalie staring off a sentence with "Um."_

"We're not taking a plane," announced Rosalie brightly.

"Road trip!" Jasper said excitedly.

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_(1) My friend, Briana did this when she was getting something pierced. I wasn't there, but she told me about it many time. Many, **many** times. Anyway, just as the guy put the needle in her --or whatever they use to make the earring holes--, she shouted out "You murdered!" _

_So I felt the need to put it in._

_And the next twenty or so numbers will take place all over the country, so if you've ever been on vacation and did something cool somewhere in the U.S of A, send me a review saying what it was, and I'll try to shove it in somewhere. _

_Review,  
therecordwontstopskipping_


	3. Chapter 3

_AN: __I talked to Briana --yes the one that inspired last chapter's "You murderer!-- and well...._

_I had a very...._interesting _conversation that led to this._

_Enjoy! _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything. _

_--------------------------------_

"Dear God, why is there so much traffic?" Jasper groaned. He leaned back in the passenger seat of Rosalie cherry red convertible and frowned. "Yes, it is rush hour, but come on!"

"Well, if someone," Rosalie threw a glance at Bella, who was sitting in the back seat. "-hadn't taken so long getting ready, then saying goodbye, then putting her stuff in the car, then remember that she packed a cooler of food, and then saying goodbye again we would have missed rush hour, but _no_..."

"Shut up, Rosalie," grumbled Bella. So what if she had taken long? It's not like she was purposely trying to delay the trip . . .

Okay, she was, but Rosalie didn't need to know that, now did she?

Jasper yawned and stretched his arms. "I have to admit, Rosalie, I do like the convertible. Especially when the top is down."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and switched lanes, cutting somebody off. The person rolled his window down started screaming at Rosalie. Rosalie rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him.

"Oh, shut up," Jasper muttered. He turned around to face Bella and said, "Give me the cooler."

Bella clutched it protectively. "Why?"

"'Cause I'm hungry and I want one of those sandwiches you made. Now gimmie."

"A 'please' and 'thank you' would be nice," muttered Bella as she handed it to him. Jasper ignored her and opened up the cooler.

"Yes!" he hissed under his breath. He reached in and grabbed a handful of ice. He grinned wickedly, aimed behind him at the car they cut of --the driver was still yelling-- and pelted the ice at the pick up truck.

"What the hell, Jasper?" Rosalie gasped. Bella didn't say anything, as she was too busy gaping at Jasper to do anything.

Jasper ducked down in his seat, laughing hysterically. "Oh, my god! Did you see that guy's face when the ice hit?"

Bella hit the back of his head. "What the hell is the matter with you Jasper? Are you insane or something?"

"Nine out of the ten voices in my head say _no_."

"Not funny!" Bella shrieked.

"Ah, lighten up, Bella. It's on the List," Jasper said.

Rosalie glared at him. "Since when? I do not remember that number, Jasper."

"Since I just added it. Number 38: Do something stupid on a highway during traffic. Congratulations, we just finished another number. Well, I did, at least." He peered at Bella and Rosalie. "You two still have too."

Bella groped in the cooler and came back with a fist of ice. "I'm gonna kill you when we get off the highway, Jasper. Hope you know that." She closed her eyes and tossed the ice out of the convertible. It hit a silver car next to them.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap..." Bella covered her face with her hands and groaned. "I hate you with the intensity of a thousand suns, Jasper."

"Ah, what the hell?" Rosalie asked. She reached over, grabbed some ice, and gunned it at a car. The car rolled down it window and more shrieks emerged.

"Marvelous." Jasper grinned. "You might want to get off the highway, Rosalie. I fear that someone may try to hit us if you don't."

Rosalie glared at the cars around them. "None of these people would dare to hurt Bertuchie."

"Can I ask, just once more, why you named your car 'Bertuchie'?" Bella wondered out loud.

"Because my car is like the god of all other cars and deserves a kick ass name." She stroked the dashboard. "Aren't you, Tuch?"

"And why you feel the need to shorten his 'name'?" Bella asked.

Rosalie scoffed. "Cause all gods need a nickname. Duh."

Bella rubbed her temples. _What did I get myself into?_

-:-

"I swear that this works!" Jasper said. "All we need to do is put this on the engine, drive for like, a half an hour, maybe, and poof! One cooked steak, ready for eating!"

Rosalie and Bella stared blankly at Jasper.

"Wouldn't the foil catch fire? Because it'd get so hot?" asked Bella.

"The steak would taste like gas though, right? 'Cause I am not eating gas steak" Rosalie said.

Jasper groaned. "C'mon you guys! It's not that hard. All I have to do is put it on the engine. It won't catch on fire, it won't taste like gas, and we'll be able to eat it!"

"I don't trust it." Rosalie stated bluntly.

"It's a piece of meat, what's not to trust? Or is your car-"

"Don't you dare insult Bertuchie!" Rosalie snapped playfully at Jasper. "And anyway, how do you know it works?"

Jasper sighed. "Remember that construction gig I had in Seattle for the summer?"

"Yeah," said Bella.

"Well, the workers there always did it and it never failed! Except for that one time that Anthony forgot to put a hole in the can of soup and it exploded, but it was a one time thing!"

"So you're saying, so that we can eat a healthy lunch, instead of say McDonald's or something equally fattening, you want me to put a steak on my engine." She paused. "And let it cook while I drive?"

Jasper nodded eagerly.

"No." Rosalie denied him. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Rosalie!" Jasper pleaded. "Let's just try it! Just once!"

Rosalie glared at Jasper. "Bella, you haven't said anything. What do you want to do?"

"Um," Bella looked up from her seat in the convertible. They had gotten off the highway and now Jasper and Rosalie were arguing in a parking lot over . . . something. Bella wasn't sure what.

"Whatever Rosalie wants to do?" she said hesitantly.

"Yes!" Rosalie cheered. "Haha! In your face! Fattening chicken nuggets here we come!"

Jasper groaned and glared at Bella. "You couldn't agree with me, just once?"

Bella shrugged. "Whoops."

-----------------------------------

**_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, MY GOD! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!_**

**_THEY'RE MAKING AN INKHEART MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_And Farid=yummyness. Yum. Screw the Strongman's young apprentice, I'm a FaridxMeggie shipper baby! _**

_--coughs-- Um..._

_Betting that you guys don't know what Inkheart is._

_Shame on you!_

_Go buy it and it's sequels (Inkspell and Inkdeath --I freaked out when I heard the name--) immediately! It's written by Cornelia Funke. Buy it!_

_And about the whole "steak on the engine while the car is on" thing._

_Let's just say that my Uncle Bobby talks about the weirdest things at the dinner table. On Christmas, no less._

_--sighs-- I wonder if all families are this insane...._

_Review,  
therecordwontstopskipping_


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: Hey there, _The List_ readers!_

_Wuz up, my home dogs?_

_--holds hand up for high five--_

_--slowly puts it down, realizing what I just wrote-_

_--sighs--_

_Blame the chocolate. _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything. _

_--------------------------------------------_

"How about 'The List of Awesomeness?"

"No, Jasper."

"What about 'Jasper made this List, so it's awesome'?"

A sigh.

"No, Jasper."

"The List of Crazy Cool Stuff to Do Before We're Thirty?"

"No, Jasper."

"Thirty Things to Do Before We're Thirty?"

"Here's a shocker: No."

Bella ignored Rosalie and Jasper.

"Come on, Rosalie!" Jasper pleaded. "It has to have a cooler name then 'the List'! It's so boring!"

"Hey!" said Rosalie. "I came up with that name. Are you insinuating that _I'm_ boring?"

Bella giggled. Jasper shifted his eyes around the room.

"Of course not, dear Rosalie."

A pause.

"How about 'Jasper Is A God And Everyone Loves Him'?"

Rosalie threw a shoe at him.

-:-

"So, how are we even going to get to New York?" Bella asked. She shifted on the hotel bed that she was on and looked at Jasper. "I'm curious. Are we just gonna take the shortest route there, or what?"

Jasper grinned at her. He motioned her over to the map that was spread out on the table that he was looking at and Bella approached it. Jasper traced a finger through the routed they were going to take and started to speak to Bella.

"We're going to go south, through California, then go east until we hit Florida. We're going to hang around there for a few days, then drive north to New York. From there, we're going to go shopping-" Jasper rolled his eyes. "-then depending on what other numbers have been added to the List, we might either drive home, or go even farther north."

"How long is this going to take?"

Jasper shrugged. "Not entirely sure, to be honest. It all depends on where we stop, when we eat, when we sleep. There's a lot of things that might affect the timing."

"So, this is completely unpredictable, spontaneous, and probably going to get us in trouble with someone?" Bella asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I like it."

-:-

"So,you guys want to do anything?" Bella asked Rosalie and Jasper. They had rented out one hotel room with two beds; Rosalie and Bella were going to share one, while Jasper got the other one for himself. Currently, they were curled up together on one of beds and watching TV.

"Well, Number 25 is. . . " Rosalie bit her lip to try and hide her smile. "You know what? I think it'd be better to just show you.

Five minutes later, Rosalie walked out of the hotel bathroom, wearing only her bathing suit. Bella blinked at her.

"I don't get it."

Rosalie giggled. "I'm not done yet!"

She walked over to the fridge, opened the door and examined it's contents. She frowned and went over the phone. Rosalie dialed room service, and asked the person who answered for something Bella could not hear. A few minutes after Rosalie had hung up the phone, someone knocked on the door. Rosalie sautered over to the door, and yanked it open, not bothering to cover herself up. The boy at the door gawked at Rosalie.

"Um, here's what you ordered, miss. . ." The boy shoved something into Rosalie's arms and ran out of the doorway. Rosalie watched him go down the hall with an amused smile on her face.

"Rosalie, it's not nice to make teenage boys nervous," Jasper lectured Rosalie in a bored voice.

"Rosalie. . . " Bella hesitated. "What are you doing with whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"

"Number 25 of the List, silly!" Rosalie stated in voice that implied _duh!_

Bella stared at Rosalie for a few seconds before groaning.

-:-

Bella shivered in bathing suit and stared down at the mess her body was. Chocolate syrup mixed and swirled with the whipped cream that Rosalie and Jasper had sprayed on her minutes before. Now she was standing in the hallway, next to Jasper and Rosalie, who had the same thing done to their bodies.

Bella took a deep breath, before screaming at the top of her lungs. She sprinted down the hallway, screaming nonsense babbling at the top of her lung. Rosalie and Jasper followed her lead.

"-pink cows are delicious-

"-never eat the blue meat-"

"-don't follow the rainbow-"

"-Trix are for rabbits, you silly kid!"

"-I'll never let go!"

"-it's like a shammie, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge-"

"-I have _wings_ and I can _fly_-"

"-Few times you've been round that track-"

"-the Phantom is coming! Run-"

Curious people sticking their heads out of their doorways, staring at the group of twenty-four year olds. Jasper's foot slid on some whipped cream that had slipped off of somebody, but he charged on valiantly, screaming.

"-let's have fun time-"

"-Barney is a monster! He's going to eat your children-"

"-I have a stupid helmet and I'm not afraid to use it-"

They reached the end of the hall; they turned around, heading back for their room. They ran past laughing people, curious people, angered people. Finally, they slammed into their room and Rosalie closed the door behind them. Bella slid down the wall, giggling uncomtrollably.

"Now that," said Jasper. "Was fun."

--------------------------------

_Okay. I have a challenge for you. This is a song lyric. _

Few times you've been round that track

_It's screamed above by someone. Just to help you out, I'll put the rest of the lyric. _

Few times you've been round that track; but your a*s is still fat; gonna stay like that

_Give me the name of the song and the band you get a prize. A hint. . . . _

_This band has had it with this motherfu*kig snakes on this motherfu*king plane. _

_The prize you might ask?_

_Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie require some. . . --ah hem--_assistance _in their next number. You'll be that girl._

_Or guy._

_Do I even have guy readers? Anyway, leave your name if you can guess it. _

_Oh, and what exactly is _"-it's like a shammie, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge-"?_ I know. Do_ you _know?_

_Review,  
therecordwontstopskipping_


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